Tisha B'Av
You now enter the fire of loss.
Memories spring up
of destruction, flames racing, people scattering.
And the name of God
El Roei
One Who sees when you cannot
rises in your soul
El Roei, One of Vision, aid me unveil that I might weep,
weep for dreams lost and hopes shattered,
for houses burned and souls extinguished
before their time.
 El Roei, One of Sight, uncover my heart that I might weep,
weep for that which shone, transporting souls, now lying in ashes,
for that which birthed healing, now destroyed, in ruins,
that within the world of space, that within myself,
that now lies empty, desolate.
El Roei, You Who see, come, travel down with me,
down into the depths,
for You can see in the shadowy places.
They are there, I can feel them,
all my ancestors live in me.
I can feel them in the pulsing of my blood,
in the beating of my heart.
Each ninth of Av they call to me
crooning in the night alongside the jackals,
the young men slain, the babies starved,
the women raped and killed.
I see their bodies in the moonlight.
They flicker inside me.
El Roei, can You see them too?
They join and merge with all else that has died in my life,
dear ones gone,
hopes lying still born,
dreams dashed,
all flow into one long blue river of tears.
We all float together holding hands.
So come to me, El Roei,
and show me a vision
of the seed You embedded in this day,
carried in the whispers as the light dims.
For in this day also lies an opening.
They say on this day Meshiach will be born.
That on this day of grief, sorrow will be transformed to heightened joy,
wounds will be healed, and all will be united,
pristine, newly born.
 El Roei, One of Vision, open a window for me,
that I might take a brief glance,
a hidden peek,
and glimpse
the souls dear,
the glorious light
of all flowing into one melody,
all opposing forces joining hands,
the lion curled around the lamb.
Let me see the voices of joy and gladness,
the songs of lovers,
sounds of feasting and singing
resounding from all corners of the earth, and
gaze upon all gleaming and restored,
all healed, all whole, all
One.
And then, bring me back, El Roei, You Who know the whole.
Wipe my eyes and hold me and sing hope into my bones.
Stir the setting sun, lay a silken cloak around my shoulders that
I might sleep and dream my dreams.
So on awakening I will see more keenly than before.
 El Roei, You Who witness all,
walk beside me
as I prune my vines and stride the hills and smell the earth's fragrances
and weep my tears into fertile soil.
Walk with me as I look towards the sun's face for strength and step forward
into the day and
cut my grapes to crush to wine.
El Roei, Seer of Visions,
stand with me as I walk this moon of Av.
As I walk, stand with me.
You Who see it all.
Photography Credits:
First photograph: Vicki Hollander
Second photograph: Leonid Rozenfeld
Third, fourth and fifth photograph: Frank Dobrushken
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